2.28.2014

Travels.


Jeepers, it's a big BIG world. 

I didn't come from one of those super cultured families that flew on airplanes to vacations all over the globe to visit exotic locations. We were more in the category of "let's go to Disney every spring break and spend money we don't have, while simultaneously stopping at every Waffle House from Ohio to the Florida State Line (we all know that once you hit the border into Florida, we DON'T stop anymore, because it's so close we can taste it). Truthfully, I didn't even board my first airplane until high school, and since then I've only flown about 5 times, so naturally it was in my best interest to take a traveling job. 
Last week I found myself navigating airports, hustling to gates and giving myself numerous flat tires that would take off both of my TOMS while speed walking to the wrong tram to the airport. Just in case, you aren't getting the visual, I was a freaking wreck. 

Also there should be a rule about tired, iron deficient, pregnant women waking up before 2am. Come on United, I know that the whole issue of breast feeding on an airplane is taking up the entire airspace, but squishing a pregnant lady into the last corner bathroom seat, has to be considered a faux paux.  

Oh and the turbulence! I know that all of these other "business travelers" are much more seasoned (I'm pretty sure NOT one person on any of my flights actually checked luggage) but let's not pretend that we didn't all do that high pitched "ooooOOOOOAHHH" every time we hit turbulence, which was the entire time. Let's face it, flying on an airplane that hasn't really changed that much since the 1960's isn't really a comfortable experience for anybody. Trust me, I know these things. I went to Wright State University... you know the school named after the Wright brothers. Honestly, I probably know more about the first flight than I do regarding anything that I "learned" in college during my short stay there.

And thanks to the music of The Civil Wars I didn't jump out of my seat demanding to emergency land, instead I quietly cried and sipped my Sprite as though this were my everyday bag, because that's what you do as an adult. That and you totally lie about helping in the event of an emergency so you can sit in the rows with extra leg room. So here it is internet. The truest of signs that I am actually growing up and facing my fears to accomplish new and exciting things.

I mean, I took the free copy of Sky Mall for crying out loud. Does it get any more grown up than that?

Highly Doubtful. 




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