Trapped in a Polar Vortex.

I'm typing this from my kitchen, the draftiest room in the house, shivering from the cold and drinking the one  cup of coffee that I actually allow myself during this pregnancy. I'm about two seconds away from rocking back and forth in a corner and chanting some weird nonsense to myself. I'm basically hiding out in the coldest room in the house, just to find a place of solitude, even if said place of solitude is on the other side of the wall where the kids are trashing the living room for the upteenth time.

All of this is happening because we're trapped. And not in a closet with R Kelly (thank God). We are trapped in a spinning, whirling, toddlers sick of playing inside with the same toys, polar vortex.

Darn you Weather Channel and your winter storm hype. You have us all at your mercy. And how stupid is that? We are all at the mercy of that weird robot voice guy who can't pronounce multiple syllable words correctly. How are we even taking this all so seriously? *asks the girl who has been wearing nothing but pajamas for the last three days*. I mean, I'm suffering from the hermit part of pregnancy, so the odds aren't really in the favor that I would leave the house anyway, but the fact that we don't have the option is killing me. How the heck are we supposed to spend all of those Christmas gift cards? I'm not wasting my gift on shipping costs, yo. 

But alas, none of that matters, because doors are frozen, and we all feel the need to try Bill Nye the Science guy tricks with boiling water to prove that 1) if you don't move your hand in time you will get scalded, and 2) that it's damn cold. Both are lessons that I could have done without, and would have loved to, but mother nature is giving us the old one two punch, right in the kisser, and as much as I hate it, I have to admit how thankful I am to have a warm home, three different pairs of pajamas, and the ability to escape my stir crazy children, even if my "escape" is on the other side of a wood paneled wall.

I just hope this all ends before I start stress painting rooms  for the 4th time.

It's not looking good ya'll.

My own personal vortex. 

1 comment:

  1. It could be worse. You could have a stray cat taking up residence in your basement because you're a pushover.