Today was a day out of sorts. It was one of those parenting snaffus that I would like to forget. Like seriously, I would pay big fat dollars to wish away. It was that bad. Deep breath, here goes...
Theo had a pretty bad accident at school. He scraped his face, bonked his head and was beside himself with fear. The school did every rational thing that they could do to help him, but when they realized the size of the bump on his noggin they called me.
But I'll be damned...my phone was on silent. Elliot and I had fallen fast asleep after a night of bad dream aerobics. Let me repeat, they called for an emergency and my damn phone was on silent.
I didn't hear the most important call to grace my cell phone, like ever.
And I've felt like the world's crappiest mom ever since. Luckily it wasn't anything too serious. Luckily he was able to go back to class and resume painting like nothing happened. Luckily he was fine.
But my mind can't stop wondering the what ifs. What if it were more serious and Theo needed me and I was God forbid...sleeping? Oh and the questions when I arrived at school and realized that this had all happened. It was like an FBI interrogation. Where was I? Why didn't I answer? What is wrong with my voicemail? It was as though the guilt was chewing through me like a sharp knife on the edge of the administrators questions. All I could do was apologize, gather my brave Theo, and head to the car, sulking in all of my regret.
And when Theo asked me for an Icee on the way home, I did what every guilt ridden parent would have done.
I donned my sympathy band-aid and eagerly marched into Target, because dammnit, I may have royally screwed up at the moment of impact, but I was sure as heck going to make up for it in the blue Icee department.
And you know what? I think I did.