11.07.2013

It's the "I've been theres" that are getting me through.

Lately I've been getting a little big for my britches when it comes to this parenting stuff. I haven't been asking for help and I'll admit that I've been getting a little self righteous when it comes to this mom stuff.

But don't you fret. Yesterday knocked me down a few pegs. Yesterday was the gold medal of all parenting fails.

I had the bright idea that my two toddlers could handle going with me to my "lady appointment".

And it wasn't pretty.

Between running in the waiting room and knocking over stacks and stacks of literature, I think that they solidified the decision to go on birth control for many of the women waiting there. Oh and the pregnant ladies, well their faces were full of fright. Because this, this is the chapter that they forgot to include in "What to expect when you're expecting". The chapter of how to keep your kids calm in a small space for over an hour while they get your billing business straightened out. By the time they actually called my name to see the Dr.  I was pretty darn excited. That right there should let you know the stress level. No one on this earth is excited to visit the Gyno. I mean, pap smears don't exactly create happiness and dancing. At least, mine never have.

But none of that compares to the excitement that happened when actually got into the room. The crazy continued, and somewhere after chasing my boys who were throwing speculums and knocking my urine sample all over the floor, I lost it. In between ugly crying, dry heaving  and laughing (I laugh to cope) I began to clean up the mess.  I'm sure that the nurse that arrived in the room thought that we were urine covered nut jobs who were emotionally unstable, but that's where I was in that moment.

This was rock bottom and not at all what I bargained for when signing up for motherhood. I must have missed the birthing class on actually venturing out into public with more than one child and clearly I missed the part explaining that one day I would find myself sitting in my own urine and picking up speculums off the floor.

 But luckily the nurse came in and immediately saw my stress. With a wink she looked at me and said" I've been there".

My normal snippy response would be "really?! You've been here? In a Dr's office with two terrors cleaning urine off of your leggings?" But this wasn't a normal day. Just hearing that someone else had been there made me feel instantly better. With that simple statement she changed my entire outlook and mood on the debacle that was happening. I instantly felt more comfortable, because this lady got it. She knows. She's been there and she isn't judging me.

Being a stay at home mom is the best job in the world, but it can also be the loneliest. Instead of being able to have normal conversations with adults who appreciated your company, you are rationalizing with toddlers who would rather be terrorizing and jumping on couches.  It's a tough job, and by the time your kids become old enough to answer and joke and understand, all they want to do is be a cool teenager and hang out with their friends. Motherhood can be one lonely bag, but with a few simple words I felt like I was on a team. A team of  moms who have reeked of urine and still lived to talk about it. A team of ladies who have each other's backs and have been in the minefields of toddlerhood and made it through. It takes a village to raise a child, but it takes a team to teach a mom. And let me tell you, it felt great to be a part of something bigger than me.

You see, we're all just trying to survive this nutty ride called parenting. We may all take different paths, but our goals are all the same; To create and raise amazing individuals, with compassion, kindness and love. And sometimes as parents, stressful moments can make us forget the goals, and forget the teammates that can help us through.

So if you find yourself near a young mom who may smell weird, look weird and be chasing two crazy toddlers, do me a favor and if you've been there tell them, hell even if you haven't, LIE! It'll make her feel better, because sometimes it's the "I've been theres" that are getting them through.

Being on a team rocks.





1 comment:

  1. Oh, sweetie....I feel you! I used to take my oldest 3 to the dentist, to the eye doctor, and everywhere else. I will admit....I made my husband take time off work for my lady appointment, so you have me beat there (crazy person!). :) I do completely understand though. I make it a point now to always talk to the harried-looking mom out with uncooperative little ones. The bonus....it often stops the little ones from crying or running or whatever, when "stranger danger" kicks in. It's a win-win, even a win-win-win if the little ones happen to like me and I get a smile. Moms of big kids like to see the little kid smiles now and then.

    Laurie H

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