Faces and Ja Rule.

The mind is a crazy thing, no?

I mean, I can tell you every lyric to "Livin it up" by Ja Rule, but I cannot for the life of me remember where I put things.

And hasn't Ja Rule been in prison for like 10 years now? Clearly my mind has priorities, and finding my cellphone for the twentieth time today isn't one of them, isn't it weird how it only get lost when it's on silent?

That's why being pregnant was the best thing ever. I could always blame stuff on "pregnancy brain" or the fact that the 80 pounds I've gained all went to my brain and cheeks. But no. Those days of blaming stuff on your unborn children are over once they are out of the womb, don't get it twisted though, now that they are out they get blamed for their fair share, it's just that blaming your almost four year old doesn't work so well when they can verbalize in better vernacular than you  "that they didn't do it". I guess that's the universe telling me that it's time for a dog.

Anyway, back to my mind.

I've always been a bit of a flit. You know flittering from one thought to another, never making sense, making those ADHD commercials come to life, and living in my own crazy bubble of smiles. And it's worked for me for quite awhile. Like for instance, my thought process on taking care of myself. I use good hair products and good makeup (thanks 14,000 of cosmetology tuition, for teaching me that lesson) but then I would just wash my face with whatever my husband bought and never ever moisturize.

But I believed that I was taking care of my skin, until I looked in the mirror and saw what looked like a squishy sweet potato skin sitting on my forehead. Dry, gross and completely malnourished. Darn it, I am starting to look old.

And here I thought the whole time that I was Livin' in up like Ja. Clearly I was mistaken, so I made  a promise to myself to actually start to take the time to invest in my face. Like actually use products for my skin type and T-zone and all that. Then I made another promise to not let this promise fall into the irrational promises category that many of my promises tend to fall into.  Then I sat down and drank a glass of sparkling water, because I was exhausted and I just wanted to feel fancy.

So since I'm really no good at this Segway stuff, I want to ask you as my readers, what works for you? Do you have a face routine? What is it? Is Ja Rule playing in the background?

I'm dying to know the answers. Until then I'll be nurturing my face and trying to turn back this age machine that has taken over my face, oh and have no fear, I will let you in on my beauty secrets as I go. But only in rap form. Kidding. Kind of.

This has been a message from Jess Elaine's face.


  1. I do not wear makeup because I just don't have the attention span or coordination to wear it. But I think I have pretty nice skin. My face care routine is simple. I wash with Olay Foaming Face Wash, and then I moisturize with pure coconut oil!

  2. Oh honey....let me tell you something, once you've had kids you're NEVER the same. Pregnancy brain just turns into "mommy brain" and you're forever changed. Mine are now 20 and 22, if I've learned anything from motherhood, it's be sure to take care of yourself first,because no one else will. :)