9.18.2013

Yikes-a-Bee.

No pants dance. Wild n' Crazy kids, these ones. 



So much has been happening in these necks of the woods. It's crazy.

Like for instance, I just discovered Netflix. I know. Jaws are dropping around the world. Long story short I got a computer virus on my "other" laptop, not doing what you think, I got it from a cloth diaper website from China. Sure sure you say, well it's true. Lame but true. And in true Jess Elaine fashion it crashed. Go big or go home my motto is. Sooooo long story short I began using my backup laptop a.k.a my mom's computer that she's afraid to touch because she thinks that it will magically know her bank account information with one click. Those baby boomers sure are funny about this technology stuff.  

So here I am typing on this brand spanking new laptop, with all of the keys, pretending I'm some rich fool who can actually afford a new computer . I swear, this must be how like Victoria Beckham lives right? High Fall-utin. And I realize that OHMYGOSH this computer has a free moth of Netflix (this is how out of the loop I am, everything has a free month of Netflix, derp derp) so as fast as my fingers can type (which is way faster without sticky keys by the way) I signed up and BOOM. My obsession has been fed like a wild beast.

I'm not gonna lie, my initial reasoning to start this whole Netflix jam was to get in on this Downton Abbey business. I know. Late to the party again. I just can't seem to get it together with the whole cool timing, because womp womp it wasn't available. So I began diving into a million other shows. full force. Like, can't eat can't sleep over the fence world series kinda stuff. Because, well, I could. Staying up late and indulging on full seasons of shows? Yes ma'am, I'll take it, I mean who needs blogging and sleep when you have Netflix? 

So after a few nights of gelatto and enough TV to make my brain rot, I realized that my vote for all time fav-o-rite show,  hands-down would have to be The New Girl. Literally the girl's name is Jess. And she sings to herself. It's like someone followed me and then created a much cooler character with actual comedic timing and impeccable clothes and bangs.

100 on the cool meter if you ask me annnd the new season started last night. Apparantly I've missed out on a ton of information, but who cares. It's a sitcom, not Shakesphere (unless you're Zooey Dechanel reading this, then it is Shakesphere...gurrll it's totally better than Shakesphere). Girl crush Wednesday? Is that a day? Thanks to Zooey Dechanel and New Girl it is now. Start Instagramming folks, I think we just started a thing.

Exciting stuff, I know. What with that and the New Jersey housewives, I have so much on my plate. How am I going to deal? Add that to the fact that Facebook is now telling me that I have 5/8 of my profile work left to do and I'm like sheesh can I just catch a friggin' break people?

Oh here's something, we always seem to have balloons in our house, you know, the mylar kind that NEVER GO AWAY and they are always floating like la dee dah , following us. The kids think it's hysterical, I think it's creepy. You know the drill, well Hubster and his hardy har har comedic genius, tends to place the balloons (right now it's the smiley face) in places to scare me, i.e beside my bed while I'm sleeping, in the bathroom so we'll have a run in, in the middle of the night and so on and so forth. Laugh it up. Just remember that you also share the floor that my fear urine falls on. Enjoy stepping in that puddle on your way to work, oh and that was your last pair of clean socks? My bad.

This balloon is a "juicebag". Total stalker. I hereby declare it my arch-nemesis. 
Cah- Reep- EY. Ya know?

So as I said before, it's getting a bit wild in this neck of the woods. Not like I won a date with Tad Hamilton wild,  but close. Very close.

Yup, thanks to Netflix I now have a cavity and am overloaded in the TV and Movie Quote department. But hey,  Heaven is just a mouse click away, amIrite?



^^^Drinking game alert: Drink every time I drop a TV or movie line that is completely unnecessary. Then check Netflix, and get obsessed and drunk. That way I don't look like such a loser. Drunk and obsessed totally trumps just plain obsessed. Sorry, I don't make the rules. I just follow them. 
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