There's a bat in our basement.
It's like a haunted house up in here,with the exception that we don't listen to "Let the Bodies hit the Floor" on repeat, or have 20 tweens jumping out at us at any given moment. Although we do tend to have unplanned chainsaw accidents, so perhaps we actually should start charging admission and making money off of our home ownership misfortunes.When life gives you lemons and all that, right?
The discovery of the bat was more exciting that I hoped that my Saturday night would be. It went a little like this:
11:45 pm - While complaining how tired she is, Jess walks down to the basement to change the laundry before bed.
Immediately upon turning the corner Jess scares said bat causing it to fly erratically, flying DIRECTLY INTO HER FACE.
Jess screams the most terrifying, blood curdling, awkwardly long scream as she high steps her way back up the stairs only to find her husband standing there with a golf club from the game Gator Golf poised to strike, because he assumed that those deafening screams meant that a homeless murderer had taken residence in our basement.
Long story short...after the hubs learned that it was a bat that caused all of the ruckus, he hopped into husband mode, and armed with Theo's butterfly net, a trash bag, and our neighbor who had stopped by to see what the heck all the screaming was about, ventured down the stairs with manly hopes of saving the day.
Sadly, they forgot to Google "how to catch a bat" and instead went with their instincts (that were totally inhabited by alcohol might I add) to bang around on stuff to get it to come out. This turned out to be bat mistake number one, as they are fearful animals who hide when they hear loud noises and see giant noodley drunken men, swatting around with a kid's butterfly net. Smart creatures those bats, and after about 20 minutes of the STOMP revival, the men gave up and retreated their way back to the deck to discuss more important matters, like the Fantasy Football draft weekend, and chest hair or whatever men talk about. They were convinced that the bat had flown out since they didn't see it anymore, and felt like the bat war had been one. They were victorious I tell you.
I however, am not at all convinced that the bat is gone and will not be venturing into the basement until a body is found, or I totally forget about it (whichever comes first). Either way, laundry just isn't happening, because I don't want to get rabies, and yes, I totally assume that all animals are afflicted and waiting to bite me. Um can we say paranoid ?
So get ready to turn underwear inside out, because it's gonna be a long and batty week folks.
^^Speaking of BATTY, did you guys not see the reunion last night of *NSYNC? Wasn't it just everything? In case you missed it, check it out...
First Jesse and the Rippers and now this? I mean, they say that when you die, your life flashes before you...should I be concerned, since my childhood has been re-enacted twice in one week?