Twelve things I learned from Vacation.

Another lesson learned; windy roads are synonomous with toddlers having to go potty. Something about not having a place to go, I think?

1. Kids don't sleep in the car. They only gain more and more energy and then finally explode on arrival, especially if the arrival time is midnight. Strike that, kids don't sleep ever (unless you are trying to take specific pictures of them,i.e matching... see below). 

2. Clumsy kids are even clumsier on vacation, and can you blame them? Totally new atmosphere, totally new surroundings and totally new bumps and bruises. Relaxing eh?

3. Rock candy can fix any bump on the noggin. This is a fact of the universe.

"I swear getting hurt is not my MO mom". I mean, I know they say boys are rough and tumble, but sheesh. This is getting ridiculous! I'm  95% sure I'm investing in helmets for these two. 

4.That big rock in front of Ripley's believe it or not, is heavy. And slippery. Thus responsible for the second bump of the trip on the second kid's noggin. WE WERE ONLY THERE FOR TWO DAYS! At that point we were all like, "Get us out of here"! AmIrite?

This picture was taken moments before Theo's little hands slipped off of the big rock. Noggin bump, believe it or not? Okay, I'm 100% sure now that I'm investing in those helmets. ASAP. 

5. Vacation makes you do things you wouldn't ordinarily do. Like jump into a ball pit despite visions of vomit and hypodermic needles. Even crazier? I actually let my kids in there. Please don't alert Child Protective Services, it was vacation for crying out loud, and we immediately hit the shower after the fact... for your information.

Don't let this face fool you, he enjoyed every second of the dirtiness. Ew. 

6. Matching outfits are a MUST.

Literally the only time Elliot slept the entire trip, was when I was attempting to get matching outfit photos. Figures. 

7. Regardless of how efficiently you think you pack, you will forget something. This trip I forgot my hair stuff bag, hence the ironic hat in almost all of my Instagrams. Trendy no?

8. Daddy's shoulders are the best seat in the house. Fact,  they are basically the top of the world for three year olds.

There's just something so great about feeling so tall. 

9. You are never too old to pretend that you are in Peter Pan, hiding from the Native Americans (erm, Indians, circa Disney 1953 before Political Correctness) and pretending to be Tiger Lily. Also the cutest quote of the trip may have been Theo worrying that "they (the native Americans) were hiding in the trees" and that they needed to "promise to bring him back, after the game is over". Not to mention we found our shadows. Major win for the biggest Peter Pan fans in the land.

10. Minnetonka Moccasins are way cheaper on an actual Indian reservation. Well played Cherokee. Well played.

Almost Christmas card quality, and in case you were wondering, we were all going for the squinty eye /no eyebrow look. It's totally a thing, look it up.

11. While we're on the topic of Native American Reservations... make sure you buy headdresses and suction cup bow and arrows the first time you see them. They really aren't as easy to find as one would think... hindsight for the mom who left empty handed in the Native American Apparel department. Womp womp.

12. Every single experience is better, bigger and way more special in the eyes of your children. It almost makes the lack of sleep, and the four million hours in the car listening to Barney and answering "are we there yet" a thousand times almost worth it.


Even the ducks are cooler on vacation. Ps there were 14 ducks in this picture. If you guessed 14, then you can count. Congratulations. 

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