7.06.2013

The Fourth and Fifth of July.


Do you think Paul Revere was THIS cute? Highly doubtful. 



Don't you just love the sound of fireworks exploding inches away from drunk peoples' heads at 12:00am? I sure know I do. Explosions are the quintessential sounds of our independence, you know. I mean the lyric "rocket's red glare" was written for such an occasion. Minus the potato salad and American flag beer cans of course. Oh and the whole battle thing. Wait. On second thought, have you ever tried to pry a roman candle from a three year old's death grip at the grocery? Now that's a battle. Why do they make all dangerous items colorful and especially attractive to kids?But seriously, we thought those red coats were bad? Thank goodness our forefathers never came across an army of toddlers. We would have never gotten away. Our flag would have been sewn with diapers; and instead of the Boston Tea party, we would have been dumping formula into the Harbor. Let's face it. We never would have actually gained any sort of "independence", because  toddlers just don't understand the meaning of independence. I'm sure we would have had it written in the constitution that we would always had to have a toddler chaperone staring and monitoring all adults when they go to the bathroom or go to do anything private for that matter. All I have to say is thank goodness that those red coats were not only weaker, but actually adults, otherwise we would have never escaped. 

Sidenote, isn't it weird that all our ancestors wanted was to get away from the British, yet every single citizen adores The Spice girls and Elton John? Not to mention, I'm pretty sure that every American woman would personally re-load every tea shipment, and sell America back to England for a go at Prince Harry. I know I would...that is if I weren't already married to a much MUCH  dreamier man (is he still looking? Kidding.). Oh, and did I mention, that my husband does a really great British Accent? 

But today is the ole' FIFTH of July, which is really not THAT special, except for the leftover, occasional firework, and the sad realization that Hubs goes back to work on Monday. Sigh. It's been real, extended vacation time, but I guess you have to end. I guess it's like the day after Christmas, that post holiday let down is truly the worst,no? 

So to sum it all up I'd like to wish a  big humid and rainy Thank You  to my country, and for all of the men and women who have served and are serving in our Military, so that people like me have the basic freedoms in life, like the ability to per sue my dreams and to say whatever I want (that won't offend my mom) on this here Internet.

Thanks AMERica and Thank You to those red coats for not only being a weaker force, but for keeping it classy with the accents and continuing to rock our music scene decade after decade. 

It's great to be an American. 




There is seriously nothing more ironic than an American flag made in China. You get the point though. 









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