Land Ahoy.

Well it finally happened...adulthood is officially upon us. And I'm not sure I'm okay with it.

Drum roll please

As of last week we got a Land Line.

It really should have been something that happened 2 years ago when we first purchased our house, but it didn't. Partly because we're cheap and partly because our cell phones more than did the trick when it came to making basic phone calls and connecting to the outside world. Plus it was so hip to be all like no, we don't have a land line...oh you do, I'm so sorry. 

But hipsters we are not, and like every other red blooded American, we caved when we got a new cable and internet provider who could give us the equivalent of our old services PLUS an added land line, for cheaper than what we had ever paid before.

Duh. No brainer.

So we pulled up our Jordache's high in the front, finished hanging our pastel room boarders and to the tune of Hall and Oats agreed to take the plunge.

And how has it been so far after a week?

HELL. Absolute hell.

Why you ask? Because instead of my Dream Phone visions of a cool automated voice sending me on a scavenger hunt with clues like "he looks cool in whatever he wears",  we are getting solicited by thousands of other automated voices searching for the previous owner of our phone number, because apparently she didn't pay her bills, thus opening the door for two young schmucks to get the residual blow back for her lack of  responsibility.

Freaking sweet. THIS?  This is what Dream Phone prepared me for? I want my money back Mattel. This scavenger hunt for Susan whats her name sucks. We are not her. MOVE ON.

Oh well, if 90's sitcoms taught me anything, it's the art of the over dramatic phone slam. And let me tell you, it's a huge release of energy to scream "YOU HAVE THE WRONG PERSON, THIS IS OUR NUMBER NOW" topped off with a phone slam that would make Donna Jo Tanner proud.

Never the less, whether we like it or not, this is the challenge we inherited stepping into our adulthood, so with eyes rolling and guns blaring we'll take it.

 GAME ON land line. GAME ON.

21st century Torture device. 

By the way...tune in tonight for another Episode of Last Call with Brittany, I won't be on the panel (taking a 2 week hiatus) but I'll totally be tuning in! You should too!


  1. We did the same thing with AT&T and we actually just unhooked our land line. We get 30+ spam calls a day, they pop up on our tv when they call and I don't have the patience to hear about diabetes free trails and home security systems a bazillion times a day. To us it saved us money to get the package but it wasn't worth it to keep the phone hooked up!

  2. Our ISP requires us to have a landline to get our internet. We've lived here for nearly 4 years, all of which we've had the same number. The debt collectors are still trying to get ahold of Pamela Fugazi and her friends.

    Our plan of attack is to never actually give that number out to anyone and turn the ringer down to 0 on the phone. We have it in case of an emergency, but TruGreen won't be calling during naptime.