4.24.2013

If the world could hug + the hat that almost sent me to jail.

Thank you so much for all of the support for my last post. The thought of letting that ugly cat out of the bag still makes my stomach hurt in ways that make me think that I'll be the next feature on "I didn't know I was pregnant". Seriously, seeing all of the cyber hugs and the "you go girl comments" made my heart feel free. Yes I was hiding and living in secret, so worried what people would think. Turns out, people aren't as judgy and rude as I once thought. At least not those people who read my blog. My faith in humanity has been restored and for that I thank you all.

 I'll have to film a video naked in a subway proving my thanks to you. Oh wait...It's been done? Gee thanks Alanis...

Today however, I am healthier,happier and more comfortable in my own skin than I have been in awhile. So let's blow this popsicle stand and press on shall we?

We shall.

So Theo and Elliot have out trended me once again and gotten Fedoras. It wasn't my fault, while browsing through Target on a gift card bender, Elliot spotted the dreaded subject of his affection. This boy is obsessed with hats. Before I could turn away and run pigeon toed away screaming ABORT ABORT!

It had been spotted and I was toast.

"HA" Elliot exclaimed (meaning hat in Elliot speak), contorting his body to a 90 degree angle reaching in a death defying feat (basically hanging out of the cart) to reach two perfectly sized,  Fedoras that had obviously been placed there strategically by angels. Or devils (depending on your outlook). Regardless after seeing how adorable they were on both boys and assessing the death grip that Elliot had place on "his" I chalked it all up to being a  irresponsible young mom and bought them.

Granted it was on a gift card, but we have Catholic tuition coming up in 2 years. We need to be frugal in this heezy.

But they were kid sized Fedoras...basically our kryptonite.

So with two scans , they were quickly purchased without remorse. Why? Because they still adore them and they actually wear them.

And they are cute as hell in them. Don't forget that part.

 Oh,  but my first born. That Theo. His fedora has turned him into an accidental Keptomaniac. Totally not on purpose and still oh so cute.

Let me explain.

A few weeks ago we went to Cracker Barrel for lunch with my mom and uncle, Fedoras blazing. After a full out jam session,  with accordions and flannel (nothing goes better with a Fedora than flannel) we headed to the table for a delicious meal.

Maybe it was the all fried entree or the 2 glasses of sweet tea, but I wasn't on my usual mom guard, splitting my attention with both boys and my mom helping. And it wasn't until we were ready to leave and my mom nudged me and whispered into my ear.

"Check his hat before you go. I don't want to step on your toes as a mom, but please just check it."

"MOM...PUHLEEZE I KNOW HE WAS QUIET AT DINNER,  BUT MAYBE HE WAS JUST BEING A GENTLEMAN. I MEAN HE IS WEARING A FEDORA FOR CRYING OUT LOUD"

"Just check it"

What is it about moms that no matter how old you get, they always know more than you? It's like this sixth sense they have, but instead of being something cool like flying or making people disappear, they just look at you knowingly and know. It's weird.

So I asked Theo to take off his hat to check and to my suprise I found Narnia, or at least Jimmy Hoffa. Yup, in it stuffed like the goodies from Mary Poppins bag, were 3 cars from the gift shop, 2 crayons, 3 dollers that had been lifted from my purse and all of the pegs from the peg game.

My little angel, had stuffed all of that junk into his hat and planned to waltz right out of there like he wasn't being stabbed in the head by a million pegs.

I mean, I know he's only three and stealing had never been an issue, so like any normal parent (after my fits of laughter had subsided) I told Theo that stealing was wrong and hurtful to the hard working people of Cracker Barrel. I also explained that the Bible tells us that stealing was wrong and that it made mommy very sad. Right, totally believeable with my giggle fits. Way to go mom.

But his face was so darn cute and innocent, and the whole situation had me collapsing into fits of laughter during my speech, not because stealing is funny, but a three year old stuffing odds and ends into his Fedora is damn hysterical.

I'm not sure if Theo understood my point, inbetween my laughing and the tsk tsking of the old couple behind us with their whole "This is why children think it's funny to misbehave" business, but I didn't care. I knew we would work it all out because that's what we do. We're talkers and we get to the bottom of things in this family. Come hell or high water.

So sure enough when I asked him later why he did it, he looked at me with those sweet innocent eyes and replied...

"Mama... Burt puts stuff in his hat, like moneys I wanted to too, to give to you" (His cuteness was referring to Burt from Mary Poppins).

Who knew that one day,  two little blondies in matching Fedoras would one day have me wrapped around their finger? 

Heart. Officially. Melted.



^^^^^^^^^^^^^^QUICK! CHECK IT OUT! I found the lost Mumford Sons!^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


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