|Jason Mraz would be proud of my Fedora wearing little boyfriends.|
Okay. Warm Weather I officially adore you.
But I'm a fickle being, and in the same breath I despise you, not because of your sunniness and beauty, but for the fact that my wardrobe is no where near acceptable for the temperature quick change. There was no sliding into it, smooth transition. Oh no. Last week I was wearing UGGS and now my toenails are being shown to the world, paint chips and all. It seems like every spring and summer I forget how to dress for warm weather.
Enter the Maxi skirt. Long- Check. Flowy-Check, Cool-Check. And totally appropriate for my bend over test. I seriously adore them so much, I should totally be a national spokesperson.
"Jessica Maxi here... live and reporting to you the wonders of the Maxi."
Okay so I get it. Long skirts are no new phenomenon. I mean, the Duggers have been dialed in for quite awhile, but for a repeat offender of the too short, short shorts, the Maxi is my saving grace. And the best part? If you forget to shave and have that second day stubble that glimmers when the sun hits it just right, the Maxi covers your legs like a trendy sheath, so the general pubic won't know that you chose Pinterest over shaving time. Genius I tell you. The only complication is when you get into the touchy Maxi Dress. That's when crap gets real. I know it isn't breaking news to find that dresses are made for supermodels (i.e 6ft 110 pounds), but really Forever 21...REALLY?! I know that I'm short but the arm holes in the dress pictured above MUST have been designed for Jose Conseco's cloud arm. Immediately upon putting it on I felt like a high school girl with the whole T-Shirt arm holes cut to the hips, "subtlety" revealing a sports bra underneath, (because nothing says school spirit like skin).I mean, I know tall girls need more fabric, but I feel like the shoulder to boob ratio can't be that drastically different regardless of height, am I right? Oh well. Throw on a denim shirt and Maxi on. That's my motto.
Speaking of Maxis (okay totally unrelated, but Maxis in the pad form may come up on the topic train) my favorite blogger Brittany Gibbons (http://brittanyherself.com) is hosting a Google Hangout on Air and I will be sitting on the panel! Excitement overload! I imagine it'll be like that time the Beach Boys were on Full House and Jessie and the Rippers got to play with them totally bugged out about their celebrity status, and then they filmed that "Forever" video with Jessie at the piano all lovey-dovey like. It'll be just like that but with less fog machines and head shots. Oh who am I kidding, it's a Google Hangout On Air, it will only be head shots, but you get the picture.
So tune in to see me gussied up from the waist up and grab a glass of wine. We'll be discussing the hard hitting issues, in total mom off-duty fashion (inappropriate and hilarious) and I'll be trying to keep my nervous voice and dry heaves to minimum. Check it out tomorrow, Thursday April, 11 @10:00 and you don't even have to wear pants!