That being said, I'm ready for a new week. And new reasons to smile and laugh.
But last week, during the stress and drama, I got to experience something completely new. I mean, not necessarily new per say, but a new feeling.
I decided that I ACTUALLY LIKE my children. LET ME CAPS LOCK THAT CRAP FOR YOU. I. LIKE.MY.CHILDREN.
I know how that statement sounds, completely crappy...horrible even. But let me explain. Since the moment they were both little plus signs on a pregnancy test and little fluttering beans on the ultrasound I knew with every part of me that I loved them. Even before I saw their squishy, swollen faces after the grungy, sweaty, bloody mess that brought them into this world, I knew that I loved them more than life itself and that I would do everything in my power to let them know that every single day.
But then Thursday happened. I'm not sure what exactly, but something special happened on Thursday. I don't know if it was due to the Boston tragedy and the sadness in my heart for the greiving mother of the 8 year old boy killed in the blast, but I whole-heartedly enjoyed myself with my children and not just because I'm obligated to as their mother.
It all started when we awoke to a perfectly sunny day, you know the type, those days where your house just smells different, like spring snuck in while you were sleeping and spread itself around like a warm blanket. It was one of those awesome stretch and smile for no reason, just because it's beautiful outside, days. Naturally I looked around my house and saw about a million things that could have been done, but instead of doing any of them, I quickly got the boys dressed and grabbed the Zoo pass for an impromptu day of fun. I mean, this day deserved that. You know?
But before I go on, let me stop you right there. I know what you're thinking. Zoos are usually the equivalent to those jacked up "free" time share vacation plans. They seem great in theory, but when you get into the thick of them, you want to stab your eyeballs out with any object you can get your hands on.And I went with the full expectation of needing a seeing eye dog upon my return home...But as I tend to be often, I was wrong. It was ACTUALLY FUN. quote me on that beyotches.
We've been to the Zoo before (we got a pass from the 'rents ast Christmas...great gift by the way) but for some reason this was different. Maybe I'd let my guard down, maybe my heart needed repairs, maybe I was on a weather high...who knew? But regardless of the reason, I was 100% invested in our experience. I know right? No Twitter or Facebook? Okay I snuck a few Instagrams but that was for documentation purposes... I swear.
Instead, we spent the day talking, laughing, interacting and enjoying each other. I answered question after question, as we rode the Zoo train 3 times ( 2 times forward and once backward after a track malfunction...holy nausea). We learned about animals, and spent the day choking down on our packed lunches full of grapes and carrot sticks. Oh and we played! How we played! The playground was perfectly empty enough for my boys to have free reign. Theo spent his time tackling the big slide (much to my fear) and my Elliot spent time exploring the playground's tunnels and man made spiderweb, like he was an old pro. We imagined together, playing store and animal tag, and we collapsed into a tired, sweaty stink heap to load the wagon after a 6 non stop six hour fun fest, to head home.
It's amazing to me the personalities that my kids are already starting to exhibit.I mean, Theo, has the flatout most kind and gentle heart. Especially for a three year old, who should be all about himself...he chooses to spend his time worrying about the happiness of others. The big brother that always shares his treats and kisses and gives every kid a chance on the slide (sometimes two, before he even thinks about going down). The kid that has opinions, but is so easy going that he'll just go with the flow with the right kind of convincing. Theo is the kid that will beg you to eat ice cream, 24 hours a day, but won't take a bite until you try yours first. Theo wears his heart on his sleeve, and you could see that see that love for us as he pushed himself to press on, even though his little body, exhausted from the lack of nap and pure toddler excitement,was telling him otherwise. Theo is the little guy throwing a tantrum, but apologizing at the same time. He's one in a million.
Oh who am I kidding, They are two in a million.
They like each other.
My whole life I feared one day having only boys...after all I was a girl, and anything with different parts was new territory to me. How could I be a friend to my boys as well as a mother? Little boys are different, and secretly I cried after my 2nd ultrasound, because I was officially outnumbered by all of these boys. But I was wrong. I mean, yes I am outnumbered in the Penis to Vagina ratio, but I was looking at the situation in front of me from the wrong angle the entire time. Our life isn't a contest of boys against girls... our entire lives it will be our little family taking on the world, together...as a team.
My biggest parenting goal since becoming a parent is to raise kids that I not only love, but to raise people that I truly like as people, not just because they are my children, but because they are great people, no matter what their shortcomings may be. I mean, that love thing...that's a given by birth, but I'm here to tell you that I am truly liking the people that my boys are becoming. And there's no better feeling than that as a mom. None.
I just hope and pray that someday they realize that they like me too. Because let's face it, this is the best team I've ever been on. no offense to the dance team and cheer squads, you'll get it when you're moms too. I promise.