As a stay at home mom of two littles under the age of three, I'm always on the brink of losing my patience.
I wish that this weren't the case, but hey, I'm human.
Being at home is a huge blessing. Being able to experience their first milestones and see them change and grow from day to day is amazing.
But staying home isn't all snuggles and cuddles and sleeping in. Quite the opposite actually.
My boys are rambunctious. My boys are loud. My boys love getting into mischeif. My boys love to wrestle each other (okay Theo loves to wrestle Elliot). My boys are silly and thrive to make messes. My boys are well...boys.
Sometimes I can't believe that God gave me these two little perfect humans, to raise and guide. Isn't that so heavy? God trusted me enough to give me these perfect, little beings, with faith and confidence in me that I would show them the Way. Honestly, the mere thought make my stomach hurt. What pressure. On top of all of the daily pressures I face, let's add eternal life to the table.
Wouldn't it be easier to just snuggle all day? Um yes.
But how righteous is that? God gave me life, he gave me a husband, and these beautiful little boys. As if all that wasn't enough, He then gave me the ultimate gift. His son. What did I ever do to deserve such things? Nothing. He gave me everything because of his love for me. Measly old me. The mom who loses her crap over broken toys and "rough hands".
My whole life I''ve known Jesus. I was blessed to be raised in a church and in a family that taught me about the Grace and sovereignty of Jesus from a young age. And although I knew the stories and heard the miracles, nothing really set in until I became a parent. The love of a parent is nothing that you can imagine until you are one. My whole life I believed in love, almost in a Disney sense, you know, the whole, someday my prince will come bah blah blah business. But the love of a parent? Insane. The most strong sense of devotion and adoration in the world. In many ways, I feel like my life truly began when I became a mom. I would do anything to protect my boys. Including risking my own life.
But God selflessly gave up his Son. On the cross. For us.
I think as a Christian I have become de-sensitized to the image of the cross. I see them at church. I wear them around my neck. I have multiple crosses hanging in my home. I know that it's the symbol of Christ's love for me. But I forget just how brutal and awfully He suffered for my sins. Sometimes it takes a hollywood re-enactment (i.e the Passion or History's the Bible) for me to truly grasp the horror and the pain of the Cross. All the while, his Father, who had the ultimate power to stop the whole thing, didn't. He allowed the pain and suffering, because he knew the gift that he was giving to all of humanity. He was giving us the chance at eternal life. He was giving us the chance to be forgiven of our sins.
When you put it all in perspective, the Strength of my Father makes the whole un-rolling of all of our toilet paper incident that happened this morning pretty insignificant.
So on mornings when I seem to have lost my focus, I have to remember...He gave me new life and he didn't have to. He gave me the chance to repent when I lose my patience. He gave me the Grace to be the best parent that I can be. He gave me these stinky boys. He gave me the Word to follow, and he gave me his Son.
Just the thought of that gives me the Strength to not only make it through the day, but to Praise Him for this day. Because the sky is blue and the sun is shining...even if it's only 20 degrees outside.
Because , This is the day that the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.
Even if it kills me.