2.05.2013

And the uterus of the year award goes to...

When everyone has a baby, it's customary to compare birth stories, it doesn't usually start out as a competition or a contest, but tends to go there.

Let's face it, childbirth hurts at some point for everyone, and it's a badge of honor for a mom, I mean come on, we carry and pop out a human...That's pretty righteous stuff if you ask me.

Both of my boys were born very differently. Theo was my first experience during  my wannabe Au natural hippy phase where I wanted everything to come the way God intended it. God apparently intended me to gain 85 pounds and to swell to the point of making my Ugg boots look like cheap Wal-mart socks. Everything was large and after a freak out moment of begging for an epidural that didn't work (turns out that at 9 centimeters the epidural guarantee is no longer accepted by the lady parts) my 9 pound 6 ounces 22 inches long boy was born after 2 hours of pushing. I'll spare you the details, but it took a few sewing maneuvers by the doc to get everything back on track, but luckily his sewing skills were terrific and almost exactly two years later, (of course after I lost all of the baby weight), I gained it all back and found myself in almost the exact same spot giving birth to Elliot.

Elliot's birth was way easier. Right after they broke my water I chose the "juice"  and enjoyed every moment of my birth. Especially the part of the hubster slinking to the ground like a slinky after watching the epidural go in like a stereotypical blood squemish husband. To this day I still believe he did it for the free sandwich. Anyway after a 15 minute conversation about cell phone plans and a sneeze later Elliot was brought into the world Kourtney Kardashian style. At 7 lbs 14 ounces and 21 inches he was by far tinier than Theo even though he was 2 lbs lighter.

2 pounds in baby weight is like the difference between a 6 inch and a footlong sub from Subway. Very different in size and very different in exit strategies. Luckily,for my freaked out mommy self, neither of my boys were too tiny and fragile for me to constantly be afraid of dropping them, and we are blessed to report that they had minimal complications.

As a mom I'm proud of the work my uterus has put in. Two pregnancies  two healthy babies. I know it's wrong, but I choose to brag about it, because let's face it, that's the closest I'll ever get to being a super hero.

But this week changed my view of super heroes forever.

Because this was the week that my best friend Lindsay gave birth to her baby boy Rylan.

Rylan was born Monday ..happy and healthy,  he clocked in weighing 11 pounds 10 ounces and is 22 and 1/4 inches long. Lindsay is a super mom already, a total natural.

And Rylan. Oh that Rylan, he's a linebacker... the cutest linebacker in the world I might add. There's just something so cute about chunky babies, they practically demand to be squeezed. Everything about him is just so adorable and perfect. He is everything.

We've all heard those stories of big babies, but until now,  I've never actually known one. They always seemed to happen in far away countries like India or Malaysia or somewhere. This one was in Ohio.

Can I get an O-H? Way to represent!

And to boot, she only gained like 30 pounds the entire pregnancy... puts my 85 pounds to shame dagnabbit. No longer can I blame all of that weight on anything other than the 2 donut a day diet that I was rocking. 9 pound baby no longer carries any weight around these parts...ahhh denial has a way of creeping up on you at funny times, that's for sure.

Anywho...Mom, Dad and Baby Ry are doing great, and are all total naturals to this whole being a family thing.It's literally one of the best things in the world to see one of your best lifelong friends become a mommy... Welcome to the club. I think you've already passed the initiation with flying colors.

You win the uterus of the year award...wait no, a lifetime. An almost 12 pounds healthy baby deems major uterus bragging rights forever. You've earned it.

Welcome to the world Baby Rylan! You came in with a bang and I can't wait to see what big things that God has in store for you!







*regardless of any mommies experiences, the ultimate goal is healthy and happy babies. Some may have a tougher road, but to me all mommies are super heroes. Especially those who have had rougher experiences. So to all of those mommies who have carried babies in their bellies, in their arms or in their hearts I salute you! 





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