Big Boy bedtime.

So we've been trying to establish this new bedtime ritual in which Theo goes to bed at a normal hour without a parent next to him,  getting jabbed in the face by his flailing two (almost three) year old arms.

Basically, we are trying to un-spoil our first born, who from the moment he came home from the hospital,  was in our arms and in our bed constantly. After Elliot was born,  I began to feel guilty that he wouldn't be able to  receive the same treatment, not to mention exhausted with two little ones fighting for my attention day and night. So we knew something had to change. It was time to become normal people and actually *gasp* make our son fall asleep on his own.

Theo has no problem sleeping in his own bed (in the room he shares with Elly) in fact, he prefers it... it's just the falling asleep alone business that he's not really into and I can't say I don't blame him...I mean, who wants to sleep alone? It's cold and  lonely. But nonetheless, I HAVE to be the adult in the situation, and follow the rules. ugh.

Needless to say, with the recent world events, I've been a little bit lax and the last three nights I've spent the entire night alternating between Theo's big boy bed and Elliot's crib.

Sidenote...it's a great feeling when you get back to your prepregnancy weight and no longer feel like you are going to blow through the bottom of the little guys' beds.

Think what you will of me, but before you know it, they will A. not want to sleep with me because it's awkward after a certain age, and B. will no longer fit in my arms anymore...so by golly  I'm going to cuddle those kids as much as possible.

I'm straddling the line of trying to set rules and get the boys to abide by them, and in turn  breaking them myself. Way to be clear on the parenting expectations,  mom.

We call bedtime "Big Boy Bedtime" around these parts, and if Theo can fall asleep on his own (no mommy or daddy in the room) then he can get 2 mini marshmallows when he wakes up in the morning. Pretty stellar deal if you ask me.

 And it worked. For like 3 days.

Until this weekend. Until mommy wouldn't let go. Two steps back...and not in that fun, party,  bunny hop dance kind of way. More like the hey we like this, let's do this forever kind of way. And since I really can't afford to go away to college with them, we'll keep plugging away at this new milestone in our lives.

So here we are. It's 12:30 and the boys are finally asleep after tons of books, tears, and drinks of water. All is quiet now without the intermittent cries of mama (from Theo)  WAHHH (from Elliot) and "Jess where are you" (from the hubster...see he doesn't like doing big boy bedtime either).

 But as I retire to the big bed tonight with my own pillows and room to stretch (and cuddle the hubs), I'm sure that I'll be awakened by something before morning hits, and secretly I hope I do. Because in a sick way, it feels good to be awakened from a deep slumber (I know, parenting has made me weird). I know the day will come when they stop waking me up. And that thought kinda bums me out.

 Because seriously, It feels great to be needed by those fellas. All three of them.

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