9.03.2012

the day Jimminy Cricket visited Tarjay

While my mom was in town, I took a "quick" trip into Tarjay to pick up a skirt for a wedding that I attended Friday. I LOVE having my mom in town for a million reasons, but it is like a mini vacation when I can just pop out of the car and venture into a store alone, it literally cuts down on half the time. Pure brilliance I tell you. Sometimes I go even farther and stop in front of the store "in the no parking zones" with my hazard lights on and I leave my mom singing songs with the boys while I run around like a bat out of hell trying to beat my record time of 5 minutes. This time was a litte bit sillier. My mom and I have adut A.D.D, where your mind gets ahead of what you are actually trying to accomplish...Oh look it's happening now, oh well pressing on...

 Just close your eyes and imagine my mom, the two boys and myself pull up in front of our local Target. The executive decision is made that since I know EXACTLY what I am looking for I will just leave the car running and my mom and the boys will stay inside listening to music with the hazard lights on. No biggie. Meanwhile in the store, I find the adorable skirt (and a few other things) and head to the checkout (still no biggie) pay the cashier the money and have a conversation about the weather. It must have been a deep conversation because during said conversation, the cashier forgot to take off one of those "dingy" tags, (you know, the ones that set off the alarms just to give your moral compass a wake up call) and my idiot self didn't even notice, because I was chatting away about the forcast. I take my bag and naturally (?)  I decide to break into a run, for no apparant reason. The weird part of the whole thing is that I hate running. I'm like, the worst runner in fact I am dry heaving thinking about my pure hatred for running *. That being said,  I'm not sure the exact definition of a run, but it was definatly quicker than a trot and I was hitting my full stride at a moderate speed. (more like a jog?).  I guess I was just thinking of the million things that I had to accomplish that day and I was rejoicing inside with my drama free shopping trip. So I take off running (with an idiotic smile on my face) through the mechanical doors and pass the alarm sensors...I was flying. In fact,  I was hopping into my car (which was idleing in front of the store) when I heard the alarms blazing.

Before I go any further I want to explain to you that my entire life I have always had this fear of getting into trouble. More so than that, since I am a good person who always tries to do the right thing I have a huge fear of getting into trouble on accident and being mistaken for a criminal.

Back to the story...

So there I was out of breath (for my random run out the door) climbing into my car, when I heard the alarms. Naturally my anxiety level rose to about 100 ( on a scale of 1 to 10) and I went back inside. When I got there the alarms were still going off and started going crazier when I walked through the doors. What was even weirder was the fact that no one even noticed. Innocence must have just oozed out of me because I actually had to approach the manager myself (I let my conscience be my guide) and asked him if he wanted to check my bag. He looked at me like I was an idiot as I explained the whole situation (running and all...darn you Jimminy Cricket), and with an awkward facial expression that was fighting back a laugh he told me that it happened all the time. No Biggie.

I still cringe at the thought of what the security tapes would reveal. A loony mom breaking into a random run and jumping into her "getaway" car. Thank goodness I didn't have to explain that one to a jury.

I guess all in all innocence really does prevail, and keeping a clear conscience makes me look like an idiot.

Lesson learned:  make a more vigilant effort to lay off the random runs.






*disclaimer I have nothing against runners and I have the utmost respect for those who enjoy it. It's just not my cup of tea



No comments:

Post a Comment